This is going to be the first blog entry under my "Highlight Wonder" section. Any blog entry under the Highlight Wonder section are my questions on theories, perspectives, ideologies that I am curious about or unclear about. They are topics meant for people to read and to wonder about the topic and form their opinion, and if they wish, either drop comments to discuss it or make their own blog entry on the topic with their thoughts.
With that cleared up, ladies and gentlemen here is the first topic of the Highlight Wonder ! Freedom.
Freedom arguably has been and still is the most important word in human history. Throughout times, the word and concept behind "freedom" was used to control, motivate and unify the masses. Many great heroes fought for the freedom of their people, many people craved freedom, many even sacrificed their life for freedom. Civilizations have evolved around the concept of freedom, with each generation taking that concept to a new level.
Over time, through bloody battles, many sacrifices, we have come to create a world where in most places, we have choices and the freedom to make those choices for ourselves. Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of self expression, and the list goes on. Today the concept of "freedom" is used by governments to control the masses, even more so than in the past. We have soldiers, men and women of nations sacrificing their most precious possession, their lives, to protect this freedom. They sacrifice themselves to allow us to live free, to live life the way we choose to, and every day we all thank them for the sacrifices they make. We have built this freedom through thousands of years worth of work, politics and battles, all so that we can live life free.
Even in our virtual world of SL, I have seen many express the importance of freedom on their blogs and in world. Many have talked about the importance of being able to make the choices regarding your sex, your religion, your perspective and to be respected regardless of the choices we make. Many seem to feel very passionate about this topic and will fight it to death, however few of them know what freedom really is, and are just sheep following the new and FOTM social trend. However this is not the subject of this entry, that topic is for another day.
In this entry, I have a question to ask our society that I am truly confused over, because I am conflicted about it, and do not know what to make out of it. We all value this freedom we have obtained with our lives, then why is it that the first thing we take away from someone we fall in love with is their freedom ?
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7 comments:
To answer your question:
Because there is no such thing as absolute freedom. Freedom is relative.
The whole point of entering a relationship is for one person to support the other- emotionally, physically, whatever. On the same note, humans are just that...human. They get jealous, feel envy, and are possessive- not just of things, but of people.
Hence why people in a relationship must give in order to take. It's a balancing act. If you want someones support, you have to give your own, and this manifests itself in that you're expected to be loyal to that one person and no one else.
So in closing, why did you have to turn an interesting discussion on freedom into some hippy crap about relationships?
Yours truly,
Zyke
"So in closing, why did you have to turn an interesting discussion on freedom into some hippy crap about relationships?"
Because I was listening to George michael on my way home tonight ?
"We all value this freedom we have obtained with our lives, then why is it that the first thing we take away from someone we fall in love with is their freedom?"
I think I have to agree with Zyke int hat freedom is relative. You're free to do what you want, so long as it falls within the boundaries of "the rules". Freedom in a relationship is no different. Relationships have "rules". Some rules are unspoken - they are the contentional, traditional rules like "no cheating". Other rules are ones you and your partner establish between yourselves, like "no associating with certain people". I don't think rules like that are intended to take freedom away, but rather to protect both parties involved.
Really that's what rules are - they are intended to protect more then they are to prohibit. So while it might seem like relationship rules strip one person or the other of their freedom, really they exist so both partners can have a measure of protection. Because we can be sensitive and fragile, and in a relationship it's important for both people to stand on common ground and understand where each other is coming from , what we want, where we're going, etc.
I think it ties back into communication. A lot of problems with jealousy, lack of trust and loss of "freedom" could be easily solved by good communication between both people. And by showing courtesy and consideration - like Zyke said it has to do with balance.
So anyway, that's how I feel about it.
Well, this is a classic question. Society has rules to keep order for the masses. Monogamy is not for everyone. You can even be tested now to see if you are genetically not wired for it.
I think that some people are able to love more than one. I think our one size fits all sort of rule does not fit all of us. I think perfect love casts out all fear..the question is, how to you keep someone in your life if you do not treat them in a way that is elevated and special and that is hard to do outside of monogamy. You might also find it interested to note, that the Bible says there is no marriage in heaven...so that begs the question of why is it required here on earth?
You also have to realize that everything is a choice. No one ever "takes" your freedom away in a relationship. If you find it is gone, you gave it up. I love this phrase I heard recently from a guy in SL actually, and that is:
You have the life you want.
So, if you do not have the life you want, then fix it...otherwise if you do nothing..then it must be what you want, no?
Freedom is precious...in all aspects of life..I guess the fundamental question more is, who are you and what do you want? What makes you happy when the day is done.
Leesa
When people fall in love they voluntarily give up some of their freedom to the other person; it's not 'taken away' if it's given freely. It's always a choice one makes, if I choose to be with this person, then I have to choose to make the necessary adjustments, compromises, sacrifices, all of that.
If the other person wants more then that might be an indication that s/he is not ready for a healthy relationship... we've all heard of over-possessive boyfriends or girlfriends, clingy, demanding, manipulative... if they grab for more than you want to give, that's when they really want to take away your freedom, and that's a bad sign. I would run away as fast as my little legs would carry me.
Other than that, yes, we might have freedom but like Zyke says, we don't have absolute freedom. For example we have freedom of expression, but we can't exercise our rights willy-nilly because doing so might hurt others. It's my right to say whatever I want to say, but if I'm careless with my words, I could wound someone. Living in this world surrounded by others, we've got to learn to exercise our rights in such a way that they don't impinge on others' rights. So we always do hold ourselves in check in one way or another. We do this even more in relationships, because we care for the other and don't want to hurt them... in fact I think as far as possible, if you really loved someone you'd try to give them that freedom to be themselves, and curtail your own freedom instead.
-Quaintly
quirkyquaintly.com
PLEASE NOTE THAT THE COMMENT BY "LEESA DONNER" ON THIS BLOG FROM DECEMBER 4, 2008 IS NOT FROM LEESA DONNER OF GREAT FALLS, VIRGINIA, BUT FROM A DIFFERENT PERSON WITH AN AVATAR OF THAT NAME.
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